all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
