Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
