Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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