I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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