does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
