Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize