It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
