you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
