you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
