bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
