So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
vagina is talking i cant
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
