She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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