I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
