How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
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As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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