I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
