Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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