I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
