i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this will be a night to untag.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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