If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
