like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
