Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True strength comes from lack of pants
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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