bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
