It's just like the Real World with babies
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
