I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
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Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
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I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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