Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I FOUND THE LEGS
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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