I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Randomize
