arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
