when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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