oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
