This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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