she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
