Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
