if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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