Kiss
Puke
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
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