the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
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He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
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life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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