You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
