somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
