How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
