It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
