Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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