If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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