Duck Duck Cougar?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
