I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
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