I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
