There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize