I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
