just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
