giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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