That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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