i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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