Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
where does the pee come out of this thing
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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