Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
