were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
