Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Too much gin, very little bucket
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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