i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
