$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
