He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
