never play flip cup with pint glasses
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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