he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
