I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize