what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
