Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize