The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
